Listen To Your Heart
by Locked In Destiel
Summary: Cas has to say goodbye but Dean won't take it. Want to make chapter story just need some reviews from you lovelies!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! Another story YAY! So this is going to potentially be a chapter story if I get some reviews from you lovely people! Please read and review, loves!**

Cas.  
Dean couldn't understand it. Sure Cas had disappeared before and Dean had been worried but this time Dean hadn't slept. Wasn't sleeping. Cas had said he would only be gone for three hours tops but it had been three days. Dean had paced. He had eaten. He had watched porn. Hell, he helped Sam research. Just looking for something to get Cas off his mind. None of it helped. (Certainly not the porn. That just made things worse, to Dean's surprise.) Sam had tried to get Dean to do things to; like leave the hotel. Or sleep. But for some reason sleep was the one thing Dean couldn't manage. He didn't know if he could handle not being awake when Cas got back.

So that's why he was surprised when as soon as Cas got back the first thing he did was put Dean to sleep.

****************  
Dean groaned as he woke up, sitting up quickly as soon as he remembered what happened. Seeing the trenchcoat wearing angel sitting at the table reading Dean got up and sat next to him.

"What the hell Cas? Why did you make me go to sleep?" Dean knew he was being harsh and loud but the angel had left him for three days.

"Dean. You forget that I can hear your thoughts and prayers. You needed sleep. You also need to trust me." Dean looked over, shocked at the angry tone to Cas's voice. Cas looked back, the anger not just in his voice but in his eyes. Dean opens his mouth to say something but Cas beats him to it.

"Dean. I can not stay for long. I am being- requested somewhere else. I have not much time but I am here to say goodbye." As Cas spoke the anger dissapated from his voice replaced by his typical gravely monotone.

"Wh-at? Cas what are you talking about? What do you mean requested? Somewhere else? What the hell?" Dean's mind was spiraling and it was going no where good. Dean was losing someone. Again. And again it seemed he couldn't do anything about it.

"I do not believe that I can answer all those questions at once, Dean. I can only only tell you this. You and Sam will not be alone. I just won't be here. But like I said Dean," laying his hand on Dean's shoulder, "You have to trust me."

Dean would have continued argueing if it werent for the look in Cas's eyes. He was scared. This was the first time Dean had ever seen Cas look scared and if fucking terrified Dean. Feeling the hand on his shoulder tighten Dean brought his own hand to lay on Cas's.

"Cas man. If you need help..." He was cut off again by the angel but this time not by words but by his lips. Dean shocked didn't have a chance to react before it was over.

And when Dean opened his eyes Cas was gone. And the unusual smell of smoke seemed to prove that it wasn't by Cas's own free will.

Cas had said goodbye. But Dean hadn't and he wasn't going to. Not yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again! Chapter 2! I'm trying but I'm sorry if this sucks. I just needed to write to get my mind off of school. So here it is! Read and review my lovelies! **

**P.S I don't know when this is set but I suppose is slightly AU because Gabriel and Balthazar are alive. ( I need their help for this story guys!) Also some potential Sabriel but I don't know yet.**

Cas was in immense pain and there was nothing he could do about it. All that was keeping him from giving up was his goodbye kiss to Dean. He hadn't wanted to say goodbye but again heaven had questioned his sympathies and this time they had given him a choice. Him or the man with whom his sympathies lay, Dean.

Of course Castiel had chosen himself. He would never let Dean be tortured for Castiel's sin. Which in Cas's opinion, loving someone did not add up to be a sin. But in the eyes of his garrison it was. Imagining Dean going through the pain and torture that Castiel was now, hurt him more them potentially even the burns and cuts his grace and vessel were currently suffering from. Even through all this pain and suffering though, he was reassured by the thought that Dean was safe and happy, far away from this torture.

* * *

Dean was anything but happy. Cas had just up and disappeared on him! And kissed him! Which Dean had admitted to himself was not the part that was making him unhappy. He just needed Cas. More so then Dean had ever realized before.

Currently Dean was pacing around the room waiting for Sam to return. When Sam came in the room Dean was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. With a look of pure desperation Dean looked up at Sam.

"Did you find anything? Anything, Sam?" Dean had now given up on pretending like this was not a big deal. No matter what he did the broken tone to his voice wouldn't go away.

Sam sighed. "No Dean I couldn't find _anything _that could help us find Cas. But I did find someone."

With that the door opened again and on the other side was one person Dean was not exactly pleased to see.

"Hey Dean-o! Ready to find Cassie?" Gabriel's voice was already grading on Dean's eardrums.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello guys! Ahh I'm so sorry this took me so long! I wish I could give a valid excuse for being the kind of author that I hate but I can't. I just hope you all forgive me. Cause I love you all. Thanks for sticking with it and again I sincerely apologize my lovelies!**

Gabriel had arrived about 14 hours and 17 minutes ago and Dean had already felt the urge to kill him at least four times. Dean was worried. If he was actually going to be honest he was terrified, and to him it seemed like all Gabriel was doing was joking around and not trying to help find Cas at all. He could barely take it. All he wanted was Cas back. Safe with him.

"Gabriel, do you have any idea what's going on with Cas? Why he disappeared? Anything?" Even Sam was beginning to sound desperate, just trying to get anything helpful out of the archangel.

"I know some things." Gabriel replied, with a wink in Dean's direction.

Dean was done. That was it. Angrily Dean turned away from the window glaring at Gabriel.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Is it just that you don't care? Or what? Cas is gone! Missing Gabriel! And if you don't start trying to help, I want you to get out." With that last part, Dean's voice had turned into a growl and he had moved closer, leaning over Gabriel in an aggressive stance.

With Dean getting closer and closer, Gabriel had visible shrunk into himself in the face of Dean's anger. Looking away from Dean, Gabriel responded to Dean's angry comments with a broken voice they had never heard from him before.

"Of course I care, Dean. You think this isn't hard on me? I'm trying to cope but I don't know how. Cas is family and even though us angels don't show it all that often it matters. Just as much as it does to you. Cas was the only one who cared when I left heaven. So I want to help but I just don't know how."

Watching and hearing Gabriel, Dean realized that yelling hadn't made him feel better. It just made everything worse.

"Gabr.." The archangel stopped Dean with a hand on his shoulder.

"Let me think, Winchester. I might know where he is."

* * *

Cas had slowly gotten used to the darkness. He had even begun to appreciate it. It had begun to feel like a protective blanket, wrapping around him healing him in a way. He felt that the darkness protected his soul, or at least the part that cared about Dean. There wasn't much left in him anymore but that part was still bright and he wasn't about to let the true darkness, the evil that came to him and hurt him every hour, touch that part.

Because there was not a chance that he was going to let them touch Dean. Even if it was just the part of Dean that Cas held inside himself.


End file.
